Some of My Recent Thoughts (Again, but Without As Much Humor)

Feel free to debate any of this, or anything at all. Just don't get it on the carpet.

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In order to really be alive and moving and living, we must think. We must ask ourselves the question of "Why" before we go ahead and do. When we observe something in action, we must ask "How" lest we fall to assumption and ignorance. Live this way, and I guarantee that you will live a fuller experience. Seek to know and understand more, because otherwise you know and understand less. Stay conscious, because the alternative is to be unconscious.

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Has anybody else found that there is a balance between comfort and fashion? I can't seem to dress comfortably and (what I deem as) fashionably at the same time.

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When I say that I am tired of the direction of human society, I am really saying that I am tired of adapting to the future and overall being alive.

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I am starting to see why people say that you often receive the things you want only after you've stopped desiring or chasing after them. When you are in want, the thing you seek is bigger than it really is. Once you've given it up, your expectations descend to a realistic level. How to apply this, though, I do not know, for it is difficult to not want something in order to get it.

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I am also perhaps maybe almost understanding the goodness of giving up on those things that you enjoy. Having too many bits and pieces of my existence constantly calling on me to be played or talked to or comforted makes the other bits and pieces that do not call out become ignored. Cutting off the obnoxious parts leaves me only able to focus on what parts really do need my attention.

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Being that this is now senior year and second semester, many things that I do recently evoke in my mind the thought of "This will be the last time I do such and such." I have long held myself to not be a nostalgic person, but now I find myself almost having thoughts of wanting to keep memories or to put value in my experiences here. I guess that being totally cold hearted is unreasonable, so perhaps I will make some attempts to keep photos or otherwise to supplement my sparse memory.

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Which leads me to another thought, which is of my tendency to have no trouble saying good bye. I might find out that this is not true come graduation time, but for now, I can say that at every major parting in my life, I have waved cheerfully and turned my back to go without a backward glance. Perhaps I have never really depended on anybody else, as in the back of my mind I remind myself that more than likely the people I meet will eventually leave my life. I wonder if I have depended on anybody here.

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I would like to meet myself from the beginning of college or even high school and ask a few questions in order to understand myself better. I think this might work better than somebody else telling me about myself, but the latter is probably more feasible.

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If suffering loss allows people to appreciate what was had, then how can we truly appreciate Jesus? Perhaps this is more misguided than I realize.

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In the past, I often said "You must give in order to receive", but I take that phrase and the intended meaning back. Instead I will say this: "If you receive, then receive with thanks. If you give, then give without expectations." I say this because otherwise you give without meaning to sacrifice, and you receive without knowing of sacrifice.

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Every now and then I realize that I am wrong. This is probably the most trying time I experience on a day to day basis. What people do in this situation speaks volumes on maturity and character. Mostly I am petty, insecure, proud, and stubborn. Occasionally I am just OK.

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Jesus was one really really wise dude. Among other things.

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Sometimes it's better to just let it out, since keeping it in is just poisoning yourself. (And yet I keep it in all the same.)