Things I Never Expected About Myself When I Was 12

I absolutely LOVE football. I hated football when I was younger. True, I decided to call myself a Patriots fan when I was 2nd grade, but that didn't really pan out until college.

I enjoy being outdoors to no end. I hated going outside when I was younger, since there were no video games or TV or books (reading inside on a couch is much easier) to be had.

I enjoy being with people. This sounds a bit absurd, since who prefers not being with people? I was an only child until 8, and did most things alone, and that's just how I saw myself. I figured that I was bad with people (still true) and thus would not have too many friends (also true), and so would be happiest alone. As it turns out, activities that I would find uninteresting on my own I find wonderful and fulfilling in the company of friends. That said...

I enjoy being alone more. Perhaps best reflected by my desire to take long road-trips. If I could, I would take a life-long road-trip to everywhere (assuming of course that one can drive across oceans). The freedom to think about whatever and for however long you desire, wherever you wish, whenever you want...

I absolutely love playing sports. When I was 12, I thought that dumb people played sports and smart people made money. I have since found that dumb people and smart people play sports, and that smart people make money... and dumb people often make more money.

Also, I enjoy playing team sports far more than individual sports. When I was younger I liked to prove that I was better than everybody else, and that meant not having teammates. Now I prefer playing a role like a cog in a contraption (or hopefully a bolt in a well-honed machine). The idea of parts and meshing and just... teamwork gives me goosebumps.

I gained mass (both muscle and fat) on my absurdly skinny frame from the age of 12. With terribly short legs and terribly narrow shoulders and protruding rib cage, I did not expect my physical bearing to change much, but, alas.

I'm still awful at studying. I figured that I would eventually figure out how to motivate myself and study, but this has not come true. In a position where simply "figuring things out with what you know" is just not possible, I have not yet adapted, and thus I am unable to reach my potential. I feel like a computer without sufficient data when I take tests, like a car whose wheels spin madly but do not touch the road.

I'm not married. I had high expectations when I was 12. (and 18.)

I haven't done something of note, like writing a book or making a scientific discovery. I had (and have) an excess of confidence, mostly unfounded, and yet it has yet to amount to much. I still firmly believe that I will eventually do something of note. Maybe most people do.

I am still learning how to be a real person. I once thought that a college graduate was a real person. I have learned since reaching that state that this is not true, for I have yet to become a real person.

I'm not friends with the same people. But who still is at this point? No 12 year old child would predict having totally different friends.

I'm 10 years older than when I was 12. Logically, it makes sense. To the mind, however, comprehending 10 years in the future is just not possible. A massive paradigm shift requires such a gradual progression. Maybe I'll try this again in 10 years.