some experimental writing

sometimes we eat worms. sometimes worms eat us. things just don't go well either way.

growth yields among other things wisdom and fat.

a grape a day keeps the ape away.

buffets can easily be likened to the current healthcare system. (this was explained last night.)

a metaphor for life: you must stretch before exercising, lest you injure yourself.

a metaphor for life: sometimes there's just no time to stretch.

abra kadabra alakazam! at some point in my life, these words did not equate to pokemon.

if this statistic can somehow be likened to an astronomical amount of a common day measure, i will be amazed.

typically we think about things after they happen.

giraffes are pretty absurd animals.

nonsense yields the least nonsense.

there's plastic everywhere. it's made from the decomposed and transformed bodies of dinosaurs and plants millions of years old. therefore, for every time that i was scared there was a raptor in my closet, i sat on a thousand plastic objects, picked up ten thousand plastic objects, and looked at hundred thousand plastic objects. perhaps more. also, i have untold numbers of atoms in me that were once part of a raptor.

if i had no hair on the outside of my body, i would either be immensely more comfortable, or i wouldn't know the difference. many things in my life are this way.

music is pretty sweet.

when you scratch yourself, you're leaving thousands of tiny bits of yourself behind. those bits feed dust mites, foster allergies, and disgust people who think too much. don't scratch, it's good manners.

colors mean things. you can call a person any basic color, and it means something.

a question that has stolen far too much of my time (and the time of many many others): what is consciousness?

you are what you eat.

if millipedes actually had one thousand legs, think about how much better a world this would be. (hint, why would people call a creature that clearly has fewer than a thousand legs a word that means "thousand legs")

monotremes are strange. i still haven't really accepted the existence of the platypus.

people are obsessed with balance. the existence of conservation of energy and conservation of momentum does not imply the existence of conservation of good and evil, the conservation of human rights, the conservation of karma, the conservation of night and day or hot and cold, the conservation of wealth, or any other silly notions. the only balance that really matters is the balance of "your mom" and "your face". thou shalt not increase the right whilst withholding the left.

nocturnal and owl always come up in the same thought for me. this might be another pokemon thing.

isn't every color just a shade of off-white?

i should use synecdoche more often. figurative language ruins my metaphors.

who is the most courageous member of an army?

mysterious man, you are better off alone.

outrageous contains the word rage.

there's probably a more efficient way of putting together printed text than in the form of a book.

humans are obsessed with rectangles. just look around.

spiders have eight legs; insects have only six!!

great writers are a combination: you must be sure of your superior intelligence and thinking, and others must be sure of it as well, yet lack it.

will i need to have a spare set of keys in heaven? or will the first set never be lost? (will keys be necessary?)

why is there no "princess" card? 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 p j q k a

i like Japanese because of how it sounds.

elegy is really a word!

nothing is truly nondescript.

every enemy is still an enemy.

sometimes i think about what the shape of people's heads are underneath their hair.

the word placenta makes me nervous.

numbers are replete with emotions. six. four. nine. twelve. one. don't you feel them?

at some point language went from a means to a meaning.

i often have the most insane urges at the most delicate times. when meeting with important people, i wonder what would happen if i got up, punched the person in the face, and walked away. during silences, i am tempted to explode with laughter and fall to the ground simply in order to observe other people's reactions. i wonder if i would survive a car crash at 40 mph. 50. 60.

circuses once existed.

Platyhelminthes!

some people kill other people and enjoy it.

cicadas wait underground for 17 (or 13) years before their summer vacation. they get just one.

lazyness is sometimes efficiency. we empty trash cans when they are full. we fill gas tanks when they are empty. we eat food when we are hungry. we sleep when we are tired. this is not the exception to the rule.

people just don't use wooden pencils any more.

life is a long time. patience is a short time.

oxygen is necessary, but you can't see it. except in extremely high concentrations.

if people had eight fingers, there would be no digit 8 or 9. if people had twelve fingers, there would be two more digits of some shape. they would represent 10 and 11. if people had nine or eleven fingers, human culture, architecture, technology, thought, art, and even language would be vastly different. symmetry is part of humanness.

sometimes the obvious things need to be explored.

what is thought, but a road fraught with dangers?